| [The Last Guardian] |
[13 Jun 2009|01:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 weepy |
] |
I don't have much to say about this clip except it looks so beautiful and the gryphon is so "Oh my God I want one" that I cried watching it. Literally. And as an added side note, this is the first video game that I'm really excited about and looking forward to since...probably Okami. So yes, I suppose I'm cracking and we're getting a PS3.
Still, I don't know how I'm going to be able to take playing this game, because if that damn thing dies at the end I am going to cry buckets. BUCKETS.
Good motivation for me to finally go back and finish Shadow of the Colossus.
|
|
| [This is what being proactive looks like] |
[10 Jun 2009|09:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 quixotic |
] |
As usual, I have come 'round to my monthly exsistential crisis where I question the validity of everything and question my own questioning untill I am a tangled ball of nihilistic angst. [You would think I'd grow out of it eventually, after all I AM approaching the point at which I will be half of a half of a century old.]
So. Instead of wallowing in philosophical doubt, I'll post this for myself to read when it pops up again:
"I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen–I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones who look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline of good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of The Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies too. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it."
-from Neil Gaiman's American Gods [and by the whatever damned powers that be Timbre, if you call him Guy-Man one more time I am going to have to give you a swift kick in your short shins. Twice.]
|
|
| [GRADUATION] |
[16 May 2009|06:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 relieved |
] |
I can has diploma?
It was a wonderful ceremony, I was expected to be bored out of my mind, and instead I let myself get caught up in it all...Everyone gave amazing speeches (except for our keynote speaker, who seemed a little lost...) and YOURS TRULY was PERSONALLY mentioned in President Berman's speech to his final graduating class before he retired from his position. Yeah, pretty great day.
OH. And Jesse and my parents and his parents all went to dinner together afterwards and we spent three hours talking and eating and drinking and no one was stabbed or suffered from spontatneous implosion. In fact, it all seemed to go very very well.
Time for a long, long nap.
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|
| [Afer posting resumes and such] |
[01 May 2009|02:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
rambunctious |
] |
"Cat, what are you going to DOOOO with your life?"
"Find a way to glitch the system and obtain several lifetimes with which to try out a few things. On the infinate youth setting, of course."
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|
| [Breathe] |
[12 Apr 2009|01:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 restless |
] |
Stressed the hell out and it has nothing to do with the holidays. Freaking out about family and it has very little to do with my parents. Too overwhelmed to not speak in fragments. Breathe. Breathe. Nobody is telling me to relax but I'm overwhelmed enough by trying to figure out what to do that it kind of feels like they are. Of course, when I'm upset enough, I'm sure my overactive imagination can fabricate just about anything... There's a demon sitting on my chest, squeezing my lungs and heart, and it shows up every time I think I'm finally to have a moment's peace. I sleep less and drink more coffee. I art more, but it's frustrating because I think I might be growing in skill but digressing in meaning. None of these things provide any answers to the actual problems.
I realize that this entry wasn't particularly informative. I think the role of it will eventually be something of a bookmark of this point in the living process, so that later I can read it over and either be glad it's over or wish I had shut the fuck up...
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|
| [It's been a while] |
[23 Feb 2009|12:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pleased |
] |
After too many years to disclose without embarrassment, I think I may be going through the kind of phase in which I will be painting more actively again. I've already made a few watercolor sketches, nothing spectacular, but it feels so so nice to start getting back in the habit instead of agonizing over how lazy I'm being when it comes to creativity.
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|
| [Yay] |
[30 Jan 2009|04:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
giggly |
] |
I just had a good conversation that left me too hyper for sleep...
Pass the polar bears, please.
|
|
| 2008 Survey |
[05 Jan 2009|02:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
Post the first line from the first entry of every month!
January | Sometimes, I get so aggravated with my overly high expectations of those people who choose the lifestyle which my dear Redd would call that of the "visually deviant."
February | I suppose that is the truest luxury of the fabulously rich, to choose to live a life of bohemian self-indulgence, intellectual hedonism and spend lazy days in the sun wondering at the way rainbows dazzle your eyes and call it your career.
March | **No entires for March AT ALL**
April | The more I am exposed to the sheer stupidity and cruelty of human beings in this world, the more I wish to go off with Jesse to a farm somewhere on an island and start an art commune.
May | Clearly some people are more clever than I...If you can get away with charging $600.00 for one of these.
June | Also, this has officially been a 4.0 semester. Straight A's.
July | They just want you to stay happy, with your cellphone that can make pancakes.
August | Proud.
September | I woke up this morning and in a sleepy stupor Jesse mumbled a congratulations to me for getting through my first month of school.
October | When I am just about to move my mouse towards the "Save" function in the Illustrator project I have worked on for the past two hours and pumped myself full of sugar-free caffeinated drinks to stay awake for, it is NOT amusing to suddenly orchestrate a "convenient" power surge that would cause me to lose everything I worked on for this entire evening INSTEAD OF SLEEPING.
November | Tomorrow...Will be exciting. And possibly terrifying.
December | Daddy, when I grow up I want to be an intellectual elitist. Everything else will fall into place after that.
This made me giggle, because sometimes I can forget just how melodramatic I can be...
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|
| [First post] |
[05 Jan 2009|02:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
Hello, livejournal, welcome to 2009. It seems that shortly after graduating I disappeared off this place for a while, so I thought I would fly in and make a quick entry, maybe even a new year's meme. Anything can happen in this crazy world.
As for ringing in the new year, I hear a fair amount of people complaining about just how crappy 2008 was for them, and I have to say that I wave farewell to it quite fondly. Many good things happened in 2008, among which included our financial situation becoming much more stable and manageable, getting closer with several good friends, keeping my ONLY resolution of resolving to read more when I heard 1 in 4 Americans read NO BOOKS AT ALL and totaled at 18 books for the year, finally going back to school full time and graduating, and who could forget OBAMA? I only hope that 2009 brings as many good things, that everything keeps getting better.
SO. I have finally graduated. For anyone I have not yet proclaimed this to, I passed with flying colors, with a 3.868 GPA, and thankfully to the contrary of my ranting and sputtering my awful Spanish class did NOT end up dragging it down. I am done. Commencement and my official diploma on real live paper will come in May, and in the meantime half the people I know keep asking me what I'm going to do next, the other half tells me to sit back, relax and figure that out later, and the other half tells me I'm damn lucky to be a graduate with a decently well paying job in this economy.
I am aware of just how many halves that was, thank you very much.
It feels as though I was speeding along at a million miles an hour and suddenly I am held in some kind of gelatinous liquid suspension where any kind of effort takes three times the strength and will. I hope to shake it off, along with the melting snow, in the upcoming spring, but for now I am tolerating my body and mind's gravitation towards inertia.
That is pretty much all...Poor Lucky passed not two days ago, and we just found out that Jackson is being put down tonight. I keep worrying that all the old animals around me are going to go all at once, and that fear seems to be coming true. At least I can say that the both of them were very loved and had a very full and happy life with their families, and will be truly missed.
On to the memes!
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|
| [Hey, just in case you wanted to know] |
[07 Dec 2008|03:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
silly |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
[Emilie Autumn] Willow |
] |
Daddy, when I grow up I want to be an intellectual elitist. Everything else will fall into place after that.
|
|
| [tripping] |
[24 Nov 2008|01:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cold |
] |
Exhausted. Still working on projects. Fuming over what will no doubt be yet another drama-filled family circus come Thanksgiving. But mostly exhausted. Catalog layout is done, Costa Rica Spanish presentation prepped, now working on my Jury Bias lab...if this sounds like random words to you, please be assured that at this point in the evening they sound like random words to me as well.
Three more class sessions, finals, and then I'm done.
I'm fucking ambivalent. Oh, and it would be nice if for once, at least when it was convenient, that I wasn't so God dammned empathetic, because I am completely beside myself for a myriad of reasons right now.
Sigh.
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|
| [A new era] |
[04 Nov 2008|11:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
thankful |
] |
Tonight, history was made...This entire past year history was made, but I can hardly put into words how giddy I am right now.
I only hope that now that he has been given this unbelievable responsibility he will make good on the change and progress that he has promised.
Godspeed, Obama. Make me proud to be an American again.
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|
| [Tomorrow...] |
[03 Nov 2008|01:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crazy |
] |
...Will be exciting. And possibly terrifying.
I've been really really lazy lately when it comes to my schoolwork [which means, I'm sure more than a few people will not-so-tactfully point out from the peanut gallery, that I am not driving myself insane and allowing myself the luxury of sleep more than every other night *__*]
The reason I brought it up is I have been feeling guilty for letting myself slack when there are still five weeks to go, and because the home stretch is no time to take a nap. Of course, I tried to justify my laziness by pointing out that I had just taken four midterms and handed in one term paper, and that fuck yes I am going to not beat myself up over it.
True justification came today: All four tests? A. And the paper? A as well.
Apparantly I am the only one who is truly surprised. Shaddup Kiel >_>
My apologies to everyone who expected a phone call from me; as soon as my tests were done my immune system went "fuck you" and rolled in with enough coughing, sneezing and voice loss to make me want to stay in from work just for a cold!
OH. My company party was this past Saturday, and my store won best in the REGION. As in All of New York, New Jersey and Connecticut, thanks very much! Another reason to sit back and be a bum for a week!
So, all in all, things are going well. I am looking forward to semester's end, and am feeling far more competent than before. Still, I cannot wait until I have time to just be around making masks, drawing and practicing the violin.
Oh and PLEASE do NOT ask me what I am doing after I graduate. Just don't go there. K Thx.
EVERYBODY go VOTE!
*Kittlings*
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|
| [HOORAY!] |
[23 Oct 2008|07:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
[You and Your Friend] Snake River Conspiracy |
] |
PORTFOLIO IS DONE!
MIDTERMS ARE DONE!
I GET TO SLEEP!
...and then SUSHI. Yum yum yum. And for free ninety nine, courtesy of Jesse's family. Life is good.
OH. This does not go under the "Hooray" but I just realized by looking at the ridiculous pic I posted of Palin that she looks a HELL of a lot like my mom. Like frighteningly so, at least in the shot on my journal.
Ick.
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|
| [Didn't you get the memo?] |
[22 Oct 2008|06:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
LAWL |
] |
Oh Sarah, you may be able to see Russia from your house, but I can see your idiocy all the way from mine.
Donkeys Sarah? Really? REALLY?
And no guys, it's not a shoop.
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|
| [Dramatic Swooning Sigh] |
[20 Oct 2008|08:09am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
freezing |
] |
Hey guys, thought I would let you all know that we are officially have reached the halfway point and now this exhausted little bicycle has a downhill run here on out. The cold and the tiredness in my bones are slowing me down, but eight more weeks, seven if you don't count the finals week I'm sure I can get through in one piece.
Apparently Hatorade has a journal on here...When I have time in my life again I must make it my mission to find it.
I'm a little disappointed that I have little money and more importantly little time to make or think of an excellent photo-worthy Halloween costume this year...Not to mention I really wish that my midterms had ended a week ago so I could make the little ankle wings Andrea wants for her Hermes photo shoot that cannot be done after Saturday...oh well.
Portfolio is what's stressing me out more than midterms right now...Mine was due two weeks ago already and I still have to hunt down professors for signatures, meet with the damned student employment office so that they can waste time telling me for an hour that my resume is just fine, and then finish tweaking my Zen koan paper so it sucks slightly less. Why the fuck they make this thing due during midterms is beyond fucking me. And I hate trying to track down professors when I'm only here two days a week and have ten-minute intervals between classes, because when I do get a hold of them I get a lecture about leaving things until the last minute. Argh.
This cold is making me want to hibernate! Must...resist...temptation to succumb to winter sleep...
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|
| [Gr. Arg.] |
[14 Oct 2008|01:29am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 are you fucking KIDDING me |
] |
Dear World,
A quick word, if you would.
When I am just about to move my mouse towards the "Save" function in the Illustrator project I have worked on for the past two hours and pumped myself full of sugar-free caffeinated drinks to stay awake for, it is NOT amusing to suddenly orchestrate a "convenient" power surge that would cause me to lose everything I worked on for this entire evening INSTEAD OF SLEEPING.
I'm sure you didn't realize that I wouldn't find it funny, because anyone who WOULD find that funny would not only be seriously lacking a sense of humor but would probably be in need of a therapist with which to discuss their death wish.
See you when I wake up,
Cat
|
|
| [Collapsing like a wet cardboard box] |
[29 Sep 2008|11:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
worried |
] |
It's so hard for me to stay calm right now.
I truly don't know what is going to happen to us if things keep going in this same downward spiral, but I know one thing:
Canada, and fast, is looking better and better every day.
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|
| [Stich update] |
[15 Sep 2008|08:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
I woke up this morning and in a sleepy stupor Jesse mumbled a congratulations to me for getting through my first month of school [well, okay to be fair, after this week a full month will be complete] But still! Time is flying, and it makes me glad not because I don't want to be in school, but because two jobs and full time school and getting up at five in the morning and not getting in until almost midnight are monumental stressors. Oh, and then I get to study for my seven classes. So yes, I am glad to hear that while I wasn't looking, time was passing.
I cannot wait to be finished. The rewards will be great and the parties will be fantastic [or they better be!]
Oh and as a humorous side note, this is the third time in two weeks that someone has turned to me and said "but you're like...18 right?" Which, I'm not entirely sure if I should take as a compliment. I mean, it's awesome if I look like I'm 18 but I'm fairly certain that when I speak I don't come off as one. Or I better not.
Oh and also? I pointed out to several people that I find it scary that the last time I was in college there was a totally different presidential campaign that I was frothing at the mouth over. And to all those who said I was wrong: Oh look. We're still at war.
Oh and not that anyone NEEDS more of an incentive to drive less if they can, but the energy crisis looms eminent, and our economy is about as stable as a wet cardboard box, so watch your dollars and walk places if you can. OH! And don't ask for freaking plastic bags when you're shopping for one stupid little thing. Please?
So go Obama, and McCain and his "Durr, look at me I have ovaries so you should vote for me" retard of a VP can go to hell :D
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|
| [Feelings] |
[28 Aug 2008|11:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
weird |
] |
Proud
Accomplished
Triumphant
Preening
Stimulated
Doubtful
Ambivalent
Self-conscious
Lonely
Longing
Disassociated
Disoriented
Hopeful
Terrified.
...
Can you tell I'm back in school?
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